“The Perfect Alibi” by Bethany Garber

Today, I made another paradox. But the thing about paradoxes, is that they don’t just happen. You gotta work hard to make sure that it does, otherwise they fall apart and even if you spent a week working on something, if you don’t do it right at every stage, it will fall apart and you’ll literally be a week older in literally no time at all with absolutely nothing to show for it all. Believe me, I know.

Until recently, I was having some tuff times. But, one day I, uh, “found” something. Ok, so I happened to “find” it in the pocket of some stiff in the subway, but like I said, I was having some tuff times. Well I was expecting a wallet. But it wasn’t a wallet. It was this weird oval shaped thing about the size of an egg. There was a small switch on one end and when I pushed it, a compartment opened up and inside the egg thingy there were two small cubes. A couple hours of tinkering and a couple of really big surprises later, I had it pretty well figured out. Then I got an idea. It took me a few months of practice, and a whole lot of mess ups, and even reading a whole bunch of science gobbledy-gook that went way over my head to try to figure it out, but eventually I understood it enough to put a plan into action.

It was a warm day, and I decided to wear my nicest sun dress and to make sure I did my hair and makeup especially nice that day so I would look respectable and hopefully not suspicious at all. As I walked to the bank, I carried my purse and a duffle bag. As I passed by an ally, I ducked in without anyone seeing me and left the duffle bag behind a dumpster. Then I slipped out of the ally again and continued on my way to the bank.

When I got there, I walked in and scanned the tellers standing behind their windows, and found my mark. It was a young guy, handsome, about my age, and he smiled at me very warmly when I walked in. I walked up to the teller window with my sweetest girly grin,

“Hi, how may I help you?” asked the teller, still smiling at me.

“Hi, um, I need to put something into a safety deposit box. Can you help me?”

“Yes, of course, we can certainly do that for you.”

“Oh, thank you!” I grinned at him as he put up a “use next window” sign up at his teller booth. He disappeared behind one door and reappeared from another.

“Alright, it’s back this way,” he said, and led me down a hallway to a big vaulted door. As he opened up the door I reached into my purse and felt for the egg. I opened it up and pulled out one of the cubes. When he opened the door, which made a loud ka-clunk, I dropped the cube on the floor, off to the side by the wall where it would hopefully stay unnoticed.

Marker one set. I looked at my wrist watch.

He walked me into a room with a table in the middle, and set an empty safety deposit box. Infront of me. Before he could turned to go I reached into my purse and pulled out a large ornate necklace, studded with diamonds and a great big emerald pendent.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” and I held it up so he could see it clearly. I knew he wasn’t supposed to see what I was putting in the box, but this was part of the plan. I admired the necklace for myself, “It used to belong to my great grandmother,” I said smiling nostalgically, “It’s been passed down from to every generation from mother to daughter. My mom gave it to me before …” I let my voice trail off. The story was true… I just don’t like thinking about that last part.

I looked at my wrist watch.

At that point I started to get nervous. Once you start a plan, there’s always a chance that it’s already underway and that you’re on another stage of the plan. I braced myself, and waited.

Nothing happened. I let out my breath in a big sigh. I hadn’t realized I’d been holding it.

By this point, the teller left me alone to finish up. That was fine, I just followed my plan. I put my necklace in the box locked it up, took the key, and headed out of the bank.

When I left the bank I walked back to the ally where I had left the duffle bag. I opened it up and inside was a pair of black jeans, a black long-sleeved shirt, and a black ski mask… and a Taser gun. Funny story on how I got the Taser gun actually… and by funny, I mean painful. But that’s a story for another day.

Anyway, I changed clothes behind the dumpster and stuffed my dress and purse into the duffle bag. I hooked the Taser onto my belt loop, and held onto the egg.

I looked at my wrist watch.

I took a deep breath to calm my nerves, and pressed the switch on the empty egg. Instantly, the world started to swirl around me. Then bright ribbons of light crisscrossed in front of me and behind me and all around me, wrapping me in a cocoon of light. It got brighter and brighter, and I had to shut my eyes to ward off the blinding light.

When the light faded I opened my eyes again, I was inside the bank again, just outside the vault door. Yes! It worked! I shouted in my head. I looked down, and right at my feet was the small cube I had left there earlier. I picked it up gingerly (it always overheated after a jump), and put it back in the egg so it could recharge again. And put the other cube down on the floor.

I looked at my watch.

I knew exactly how long I needed to wait, but it helped that I could also hear the conversation going on in the other room. I waited. And waited. I stared at the second hand on my wrist watch and waited until 4…3….2….1… I pulled out the Tazer gun and rushed into the room right as I heard myself say, “Isn’t it beautiful?” When I ran in, the teller spun around startled with a look panic. I hit him with the Taser before he had a chance to shout, and he went down

Next I turned to myself. That was eerie. Looking at myself, watching my reaction to myself, but it wasn’t anything like looking in a mirror. She was wearing the sundress, and I was in all black. Well, we both… er… I both… knew the plan, and it had to look good, so I both took a breath at the same time and I pulled the trigger.

Sun dress me went down to the ground with a thump, and as soon as she/I was down I took the necklace from her hand and sprinted out of the vaulted door, through the bank, out the door, and down the street into the ally before I ever heard any sirens going.

Now here’s a funny thing with this time jumping business. When you make it so that there are two of you, somehow it ends up that you come out of it with two memories.

So here’s what I remember in a nutshell after I shook off being Tased. The teller was recovering right when I was, he sounded the alarm, and the police showed up in hardly anytime at all, and I spun my tale of woe of how my great grandmother’s necklace was stolen from me, and how it was a precious heirloom, and that it was worth a tin of money, blah blah blah. The whole story was true… I just made myself sound a lot more pathetic than I really was. In the end, I spun my tale well…

Now here’s where it gets messy. See, I went through it all once, right? But then I went back and the second me Tazed the first me, and the second me ran away with the “stolen” necklace (but I mean, it wasn’t really stealing since it belonged to me…right?), and the first me was in the bank giving my sob story to a bunch of cops. Here’s the hitch. There are two of me. I gotta resolve this, otherwise the timelines kinda just spring back to normal all on their own (don’t ask me how or why) and all my work would be for nothing.

Now I told you earlier that I was going to create a paradox, yeah? Well, the thing about creating paradoxes, is that if you don’t do what some scientist I read about calls, “tying the loop” it will unravel, and the timeline fixes itself. It makes it so that everything you did while in your past, never happened…even if you still remember doing it. No one has been able to figure out how or why, but is does.

So with that in mind, the me in the sun dress left the bank, went to the ally where the duffle bag was, changed clothes and made the jump back to the bank, where she/I would then Taser myself again… and if you think about it enough, you get an infinite loop. Meanwhile, the first me that “stole” my necklace, is safe and sound at home, I’m the only me, I have my necklace and a check for ten thousand dollars from the bank to reimburse me for my loss (and keep me from suing them for more), and no one will ever know what I’ve done.